For those who follow me on Twitter, you probably saw recently that I asked the wonderful Rene Syler for an intervention. Rene’s got an amazing site called Good Enough Mother (GEM) which I highly suggest you take a look at if you haven’t already. I will openly admit that I just recently learned about Rene and her site after hearing about her amazing presentation at the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration back in March of 2011. After hearing so many people rave about Rene and her message, I checked out her website and followed her on Twitter and Facebook. Despite being a famous celebrity, Rene’s very warm and engaging and has actually replied to my tweets! Rene’s message is that you don’t have to be the mom who runs from activity to activity, coordinating everything, front row at every performance, spending every waking moment trying to be perfect in the eyes of your children, spouse, World or most importantly, you.
This is something I’ve struggled with since the moment I became pregnant with my first child. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mom. Not just a mom, but the best, most awesome mom that I could be. Well I know I haven’t done the best job, you certainly can’t fault me for the effort I’ve put into that part of my life. Some might say I’m a little too “obsessed” with my kids and need to say no a little more often.
I’ve got an incredible amount of guilt about the fact that I go to work each day. Nothing will ever change this. I’ve missed such important milestones in each of my boy’s lives and it kills me. I realized quickly though after having my first son that I was not designed to stay at home all day, every day. I need adult interaction and conversation in my day. This doesn’t mean I love my kids any less; in fact, it means I love them enough to have a little sanity in my life so I don’t go crazy which is a good thing for everyone.
Since my first son was born, he’s been totally spoiled. He was the first grandchild for my mom and dad and my first child. His baby shower was huge – filled with friends and family and tons of gifts for my little guy. The same happened with my second son – from the minute we learned we were pregnant the madness began all over again. While I didn’t have a shower for my second child, he spent seven very long days in the Regional Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. We’re blessed to have two healthy, happy, amazing children who have been blessed with more toys, games, books, puzzles and everything else you can think of in their short lives. I tend to compensate for my mommy guilt by picking up things for the boys on my lunch hour or while I’m out running errands.
|My sweet little pumpkin in the RNICU just a couple of days old|
Not only do I sometimes over indulge my kids with material items, I spend a lot of time with and on them. I’m involved in my youngest son’s daycare and my older son’s school volunteering and holding a place on the PTO board. My time is very valuable to me so spending it with or on my kids is a huge way (to me) to show them how much I love them. Sometimes I let other things in life slack to be able to spend more time with my kids.
While working can take up a good bit of my time, I’m also involved in the local fire department’s Auxiliary (we respond to calls to provide snacks and drinks to the firefighters and help do fundraising and things for the department) as well as plan our local breast cancer walk (we’re currently planning our second walk and I’m thrilled with the growth!!). I love being involved in different events. It keeps me busy and involved with the community. I’m hoping that I can show my children how important it is to volunteer your time to things that are important to you; not everything is about making millions of dollars (though I don’t know that I’d turn it down if you offered it to me!). I also (obviously) maintain my own blog, write for the awesome WDW Fan Zone and help with the Disney Driven Life website.
|Great group of women who helped make our first walk a huge success!|
All of these things came to a head the other night after a week of getting about five hours of sleep each night. Thursday was the big End of the Year Picnic at my oldest son’s school so Wednesday was a very crazy night. I had (see how I justify?? I *had* to make them!) cake pops to make for the cake walk at the picnic and yet more to make for my son’s class so he could celebrate his birthday before school’s out since it’s during the summer. I also had signs to make for the picnic, Cash for Trash prizes to award (Box Tops for Education, Campbell’s Labels for Education, Tyson’s Project A+ and ink cartridges we collect all to raise money for the school), a PTO poster board presentation thing to finish and put together, a Disney tip sheet for the Disney silent auction basket I put together and a few other things like packing for our Disney trip that weekend. As I started painting the signs, I realized I was going to loose my mind and tweeted that I needed a GEM intervention. I started thinking about how these things wouldn’t be important in 10 years (my kids will so not remember that “mommy was the one who painted the signs for the picnic when I was in first grade”) and that I don’t need to be Super Mom and kill myself to live up to this unattainable goal that so many moms fall subject to. The world would not end if I didn’t finish the presentation, poster or anything else.
|The pile of Box Tops for Education counted over the weekend that needed prizes sent home.|
|Proud to be a GEM in progress 🙂|